• Sujeet Sir

Love: Pain OR Pleasure?

Updated: Sep 16, 2020

An attempt to discover the true meaning of love.

The only way to always get pleasure from somebody is to have a relationship with the dead. That is the reason many people love GOD and feel secure with GOD as compared to any individual. Because with god you can expect anything whether unreal or impractical as anyway god is not going to respond verbally or in some physical form but with humans, you may get unexpected reactions. Sometimes strong rejections both verbally and in some sort of physical activity too is expected.

If you make every relationship based only on your feelings, you will mostly miss many important relations in your life and chances are that you end up having nobody to love or to be loved.

One must understand that feelings are temporary.

Even in doing something you like, You may sometime get a feeling of pain, boring, etc. The problem is not that we get these feelings, as they come autonomously and one has no control over it. The problem is only when you start acting according to those feelings in any relationship.

“In the west, many relationships broke and are still breaking as their relationship is entirely based on feelings.”

Love at first sight and divorce at the first fight is the trend over there these days.

So when they get PLEASURE they keep the relation and when they find PAIN, they either break up or divorce.

one must understand that In a relationship, it’s all about love and not about feelings as feelings are temporary and keep changing with circumstances but love is permanent.

To expect something like always pleasure from a living individual is exactly like expecting only head to come whenever you toss a coin.

Staying together with profits and falling apart in loss is a sign that you made a deal with somebody and not a relationship. Asking him/her to keep you happy always and to act according to your choice all the time is something unreal and impractical. its anyway not going to happen with anybody.

One must understand that love is essentially happening within you.

But the problem with most people is that they are using their partner as a key to unlock their happiness. The real question is why you need a key when there is no lock?

Remember whether it’s Joy or misery, the source is within you.

There are two ways to enjoy a relationship,

  1. To extract happiness from partners.

  2. To share happiness with a partner.

Generally, people try to extract happiness from their partners and their happiness becomes like a push start machine. They don’t feel happy until and unless they get the desired response from their partner.

"Love does not claim possession but gives freedom."

Rabindranath Tagore.

Painting by Rabindranath Tagore via Pinterest

Remember When scolded by your mom how you felt about her?

you didn’t feel good, right?

What would have happened if you would have had kept those bitter feelings about your mom inside you for the rest of your life?

You would have never been able to kept and enjoy that pious relation with your mom.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky writes, ‘But to fall in love does not mean to love. One can fall in love but still, hate’ adding that, ‘….To love someone means to see them the way God intended them.

What differentiates business deals from love is that in the business deal you expect profit but in love, you do not expect anything at all.

In the business deal, you focus on how much you would get but in love, your only intention is to give, Give everything that you have, and expect nothing in return.

अपनी छवि बनाइ के जो मैं पी के पास गई,

जब छवि देखी पीहू की तो अपनी भूल गई।

छाप तिलक सब छीनी रे मोसे नैंना मिलाइ के

बात अघम कह दीन्हीं रे मोसे नैंना मिलाइ के।

अमीर खुसरो

One should not live their life based on their feelings as feelings keep on changing from good to bad and from bad to good, so that way one will never get happiness from anything.

Most people in a relationship are motivated by an expectation of

Romance, Reward, and Reciprocation.

Build your relationship based on Love and Respect, as Feelings and Romance will go down with time but love and respect will grow.

“Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere

They are in each other all along.”


Live on love.

  • Love is there if it is there.

  • Love is eternal, it is permanent.

  • Love is irrespective of feelings.

  • Love is irrespective of Romance, Reward, and Reciprocation.

Now if it gives pain or pleasure it doesn’t matter. Accept both.

Always remember, If you want rose then you must accept it with thorns. It’s always a package deal.

Learn to be selfless.

First, try "to" understand and then "be" understood.

Love is not a Noun, but Verb.

Image source Pinterest

If asked me, what was all there at the time of the origin of the universe? It was love and only love. Rest all is just its manifestation in different dimensions. you don’t have to search for love, just close your eyes and feel it. It has existed from the time immortal and will always exist in the centuries coming.

“Love each other or perish.”

For me,

Love is what Meera had for Krishna, Tulsidas for Rama, Bhagat Singh for freedom, and Rumi for shams. For me its nothing and everything at the same time.

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